I held him like it was I who was the victor. When he came out of the column of men, I felt like I was pulling him from the grip of Mora, of lady death. The men in their armor, their scars, their stench. I held him in a sign of defiance with no care for what happened around me. I saved the person I loved from the hands of his mistress.

I looked up at him and saw his eyes. The pair of fiery eyes that I was used to looking into before I fell asleep. Those eyes that I knew so well. In them, I saw no darkness this time, only unyielding love.

He put the flower in my hands, and a tear of mine fell on it like morning dew. He put his hand under my chin and lifted it up. I felt his torn flesh on the inside of his palm.

“My love for you grows like the flowers in the plains.” - he said and held my gaze.

That same evening we laid on the grass behind the house. Roric was on his back, and I was pressed against his chest. We could see the first touch of autumn on the leaves. The night hid their yellow and red colors, but you could hear it in their rustling. They creaked like an old wooden floor. Every now and then, the wind would tear away a leaf, allowing us to see the moon and stars in the sky beyond.

It was how the gods repaid us for all the pain and suffering we had to endure. Their ways didn’t make sense to us, but we could all appreciate the beauty of an autumn night. How easy it is to take those moments for granted. The seasons come and go every year but sharing them with someone is the real gift. But I didn’t dare to look Roric in all that harmony in the eyes. I laid there, wondering if he was here now. I was afraid I would see that unseeing gaze he had last time. I feared that I might be alone with the leaves and the stars.

“A coin for your thoughts.” - he said to my surprise.

“I was wondering if you had come whole this time.” - I said after a moment’s silence.

“Well, I’ve got all my limbs still attached. Lost a tonne of weight, though.” - Roric answered mockingly and laughed.

“It’s not what I meant” - I said laughing - “I meant… if you came whole in here.” - and I put my finger against his chest.

He took a long breath, and his eyes went into the distance. At this moment, I thought that I had once again lost him. I regretted asking the question. I should have just joked and cherished the moment instead.

“I hated myself for what I did” - he continued to my surprise - “I killed men for reasons I didn’t understand. Our czar couldn’t settle a land dispute, and I had to deliver the carnage. Why?”

“But it’s better than last time. I can see it in you.” - I said

“I found my reasons to make peace with myself.” - Roric answered.

“And what were they?” - I asked.

“I’m not a soldier but a warrior. Others fight out of duty. They make their coin and hide the sword, forgetting about it when they go home. It’s no different than working in the field. My hands never forget the sword. I’m a fighter, both here and there. When Bohdan returns, he becomes a builder. When I do, I’m still the same. But I had another reason - I had a promise to keep. Each of those poor bastards wanted me to betray you and break my promise. And I couldn’t do that”